The doctor of the future will give no medicine, but instead will interest his patients in the care of the human frame, in diet, and in the cause and prevention of disease. - Thomas Edison

I know what my weaknesses are.

The Mountain Goats said it right. I've been thinking a lot about body image, goals, control, anger, determination, self-deceit, and denial lately. I'm on my own so called "path of discovery" with strength training and sticking to a clean diet. Maybe it's the guilt from drinking and eating pizza last night...but I feel like trying to understand this new mindset a bit more indepth.

There are thousands of books on the psychology of food, exercise, and self-image. I bought one of them today called Women, Food, and God by Geneen Roth. I've also been watching clips from a short documentary called Bigorexia:

and tonight I plan on renting & watching Pumping Iron, the classic bodybuilding movie with my favorite - Ahhnold.

There's also The Body Image Project where women can write openly about their vision of themselves, their body image, and self-esteem.

This could go on and on. There are many support groups and forums for this sort of discussion. It is a fact that one way to find and solidify self-worth is through our bodies. It's natural that we would place our basic worth on appearance and body composition since...it's all that we truly own and control. I'm going to hazard a guess that people (like me for instance) who are dealing with general control issues and anger/depression in their lives often turn to transforming their bodies as a way to rebuild a feeling of control and self determination.

I'm going to try to draw a line between these ideas and some thoughts I had today in the Horticultural Therapy program I am volunteering with this summer. This morning was the first day of the season gardening with autistic children and teens - growing vegetables, herbs, and flowers. Autism, from my observations, seems to heighten all senses and awareness to the point of total distraction and restlessness. I wonder if this then contributes to a n overall lack of inhibition or self-consciousness. It's compelling to think of what there is to learn from people with Autism Spectrum Disorder - their world view, as well as their view of themselves. I am curious about the contrast between their reality versus that of people living with body dysmorphia disorder possibly as a obsession resulting in a heightened misperception of the self.

Maybe this is a stretch based on me over thinking what it means to be self aware versus so distracted by the outside world that you don't have time to consider let alone become obsessed with your body shape or appearance.

Does it come down to time available? Is it a coping mechanism we create to distract from other issues in our lives? Probably. And in a lot of cases it is completely constructive and builds an unshakeable sense of self-worth that no one could have falsely created for us.

Seed Sprawl

After winter dormancy, it's time to pay attention to this blog again. Over that past 6 months I have completed the Master Gardener course offered through the Calgary Zoo and have still been scheming how I will get involved this summer in community garden projects around the city - because there are a zillion of them. Challenging with a busy job and starting serious weight training. Since this is the year of the Iron Tiger afterall, it makes me glad to see how this is represented in life.

A huge part of springtime for me was the realization of the strength it takes to hold off on really jumping into a private gardening endeavor in favor of cultivating more skills, connections, and developing a truly strong & grounded vision. Not to sound like I'm making excuses for not diving right in to my dreams...I have just decided that a strong foundation needs to be built first, and with all types of stones - the exciting & boring ones, all together.

It's easy to have a huge idea, enthusiasm, and energy. It's much much harder to let things unfold naturally, with all the distractions and unforeseen opportunities that come up. But this is the stuff that books are written about, and those can be found in both the business and self-help sections of all book stores. Mysterious...

Regardless.

My goals for this gardening season!

1. volunteering with the Healing Garden at Lougheed House for a second year (with people who have physical and cognitive challenges)

2. volunteering with the East Village Community Garden (with seniors, homeless, low-income)

3. helping some friends with their yards and balconies

4. documenting these activities through photographs

5. growing my own radishes, lettuces, herbs, and flowers on my teensy balcony

6. completing at least one chin-up!

About the strength training - I'm going onto Stage 3 of a 7 stage program called The New Rules of Lifting (women's version). Part of this also includes abiding the treacherous Paleolithic Diet and having regular caliper/fat tests done to measure progress. The goal - to be around 15% body fat, do chin-ups, and maybe even win some arm wrestles.

Learning about magnesium, fish oils, iron, vitamin D, indole-3 carbinols, cruciferous veggies, hemp protein, etc. etc. etc. This stuff is complicated, just like how growing vegetables gets complicated.

Somewhere in here there is a common thread. My hope is that I find it, untangle it, and explain it.

One Hummingbird.

Mottainai. One little Japanese word that had changed my day. It basically means "a sense of regret concerning waste when the intrinsic value of an object or resource is not properly utilized." The expression "Mottainai!" can be uttered alone as an exclamation when something useful, such as food or time, is wasted. In addition to its primary sense of "wasteful," the word is also used to mean "impious; irreverent" or "more than one deserves."

One word and a story called Flight of the Hummingbird, by Michael Nicoll Yahgulanaas (of Haida Manga), with Wangari Maathai (of the Green Belt Movement).

I reacted pretty pretty poorly at first to the story. No hope. Impossible. Sad. Depressing. Apocalyptic. Etc. But then I read the preface and afterword in the book. And I re read the story about 5 times. And thought about it all day. Mottainai is something that is explained in the preface and makes the rest of it mean so much more.

"Self confidence and enthusiasm are the keys to a successful life and to success in any activity one is engaged in. We must be determined and must have an optimistic outlook; then, even if we fail, w will have no regrets. Once you have made up your mind, you must go forward with a single-minded devotion in spite of the obstacles." - the Dalai Lama (afterword from the book Flight of the Hummingbird)

The reason why this story ended up making me cry and then rejeuvenating my sense of purpose is that it is just a little reminder that we're just humans. Individuals. All we can do is all we can do. And that's enough. We just have to all be doing it and doing it well, with our hearts and brains.

If I, as my own one tiny human speck among billions of other humans can manage to live right by nature and by other humans, then that's all I can do. That's all I want to do. I've made my small changes and will get to see some result and grow from them.

It's all like Miss J on ANTM said last week: "If you keep doin what you're doin, you keep gettin what you got."

Right?

Celebration Pancakes and Indoor Jungles

Today my pal Jhyl, who loves Craftzine, sent me a link to this completely inspiring indoor window jungle made by a DIY self-declared non-gardener in training. The Gomistyle window garden is beautiful because it's attainable - made from simple objects. I especially love his explaination: Let me begin with a simple admission. I don’t know much about gardening. Until a few weeks ago, I had never planted a seed, or maintained houseplants. My thumbs weren’t green, they were red and swollen from playing Xbox.

Gomistyle is pretty great.

Also, stopped at Community on my way home to get rice flour for pancakes. Their sign (below) made me glad. And happy that I was going to have pancakes for dinner. The cure for almost all ailments. And to celebrate momentous events.

Gluten/Dairy Free Best Pancakes in the World:

2 eggs

2 c. almond milk

1/2c. brown rice flour

1/2c. buckwheat flour

1 apple (shredded)

vanilla/cinnamon if you like that kind of thing.

Fry in a pan on med heat in veg. oil.

Indoor veggie gardening, community greenhouses, gorilla gardens, etc all are happening everywhere. It's a trend. It's popular for hippies and conservatives alike. Everyone sees that the "end is near" and we don't want to be stuck with no food in any apocalypses. So we're learning how to grow it, where to grow it, and when.

Everyday I feel like I hear of another organization helping urbanites to be more in touch with their surrounding nature. Today - it's an organization called Evergreen whose main objective is to bring "nature to our cities through naturalization projects." With offices in Montreal, Vancouver, and Toronto Evergreen supports all kinds of projects to promote education, provide funding for school gardens, informational resources for home/public/community gardening, and a slew of other information that deals with municipal and provincial issues surrounding land use and gardening.

One of their most compelling projects BrickWorks is slated to open in May 2010 and will be Canada's first large-scale environmental community centre. This will house a plant nursery of native plants, youth employment training programs, educational programs, green design exhibits and interpretive programs, food gardens, farmer's markets, and a year-round grocery with local producers. Sort of like a mall for sustainable living.

Maple & Salt

This evening I roasted almonds with maple, cayenne pepper, and salt. Heaven and our house now smells like pie and ice cream and all wonderful things. Next time I'll add vanilla. And a pinch more cayenne. Also, probably should have baked them on parchment paper, not directly on cookie sheet. Woops!

I'm still researching grants and monies available for urban garden teaching initiatives that one might like to strike-up for children. And thinking seriously about Square Foot Garden modulesfor this. Love this idea, 4x4x1 ft box divided into 16 sections big enough to grow a few seeds of different plants.

In researching other ideas for small teaching gardens, I remembered about vertical gardening initiatives. Of course I'd like to learn more about how this is being done in Canada mainly, but also in the rest of North America in various climates. I also stumbled on a great comprehensive blog based out of NYC called Inside Urban Green which had some great articles on all matters of urban gardening, including vertical gardens and similar yet different kinds of square foot gardens.

Also, a couple of days ago the City of Calgary announced a Major West Downtown Redevelopment Plan. Basically, this would be focused on the "west village" (located between 11th st SW, Crowchild trail, and the Bow River south to the CPR track). There is a pool of monies available called Community Revitalization Levy that the city will use to fund infrastructure improvements. The posting on the city site is boring. But, I learned from the sidebar that Calgary has 7,772 hectares of parkland.

If you want to know more about what's going on with Calgary development and research, the Plan It Calgary group has been dissecting potential and past land use, transportation, housing, etc. After all of their digging, a Municipal Development Plan was formed and presented to city council this past summer for review. The research and recommendations in the two documents they have drafted would, theoretically, ensure sustainable growth and development over the next 50-60 years. That's the optimistic stance. And it's interesting.

If you're even MORE curious about Calgary City Council and their goings on, attend a meeting!

Calendars of upcoming 2009/2010 meetings can be found here. The calendars are deeply coded, but still available. The most relevant would likely be the monthly Hearing on Public Matters, as well as the SPC on Land Use, Planning and Transportation which also happens almost every month.

To wrap it up, here's some lovely Sin Fang Bous who I just was lucky enough to see live last week at the Marquis Room. Blew. Me. Away.

Mind like oatmeal

That's about how I feel today anyhow.

Tomorrow I think if I just start my day with some pumpkin pie oatmeal http://blog.craftzine.com/archive/2009/10/pumpkin_pie_oatmeal.html

I might be ahead of the game.

I'm also daydreaming about some tiny pies from a site called Not Martha. Full details for building the pies are listed. I'd love to deliver them to friends in celebration of winter, rhubarb, and being cozy. Aren't they pretty? These ones have cherries. I'd make mine using rhubarb and berries probably.

Anyway.

In other news - there are grants available to start various environmental initiatives (my brain defaults this to mean "teaching gardens" or any other variety of gardening initiative that I might like to strike up).


Here are a few to check out:


Youth Environmental Stewardship Grant $5000, must be aged 16-30, provided by Alberta EcoTrust


The Calgary Foundation has a slew of grants & awards. One called "Stepping Stones" is pretty interesting as it is awarded to individuals "to encourage active citizenship by helping residents undertake small creative projects that benefit their local community". Amounts awarded are between $100-600. Applications are accepted every month! Here are some past projects that have received funding.


On another note, the Calgary Zoo has great resources for schools to start their own garden programs. They've put out a publication called Grounds for Change which details where to start, what to do, and where to find funding (can be purchased through the same links).